The 12 Freedoms In Healing In Grief

This is a note we received at our beareaved parents group on our last night (tonight). I've learned nobody can tell me how to grieve, when to grieve and when my grieving should be done. I am on my own grief journey and each journey is unique. There may be some very similar but to all their own "unique". Losing a child cannot be compared to another loss. There are no 10 stages to grief and there is no end to grieving. A childs life lost is unfair and unacceptable. You have to say good-bye when your not done saying hello.
This is something that will help me each day realize and be aware of my emotions and allow myself to be okay with the way I feel. Even though alienated , I cant go around it or over it I have to go through it. Grieving is now a part of my daily routine and everything else has to fight its way through. What people dont realize is losing your child isnt just something that goes away after a few months. You have to now begin a "new normal" after you have already prepared yourself to raise a child. You change from a person you once were into someone you dont even quite know yet. When the "new you" surfaces, it will be a surprise to you and the people around you. Trying to find that new person you are going to be is the challenge.......that is why something like "The 12 Freedoms In Healing In Grief" is important me to and maybe not others. Instead of daily reading like a favorite magazine or book I read grief books and notes on grieving and mourning, trying to figure out how to continue this life and have the outcome be positive. Living a daily life of sadness, hurt and anger for who knows how long scares me. These points below will now be a daily read for me.


I give Myself PERMISSION to realize MY grief is unique.

I have the FREEDOM to talk about MY grief

I have the FREEDOM to expect to feel a MULTITUDE of EMOTIONS

I have the FREEDOM to allow for numbness

I give myself PERMISSION to "Take A Break"

I have the FREEDOM to experience "Grief Attacks" or Memory Embraces

I give myself PERMISSION to continue to develop a support system

I have the FREEDOM to make use of ritual and create traditions

I have the FREEDOM to embrace and explore my spirituality

I have the FREEDOM to search for meaning

I have the FREEDOM to treasure memories

I am FREE to move toward MY grief at my own pace and begin to heal.