23 Months

Yesterday (November 14th) Keely would have turned 23 Months old. One whole month away from her 2nd Birthday. Five entire months we've had to be without her, five entire months since ive held, kissed, hugged, smelled and really truly smiled from the inside. Having her enrich our lives was amazing, now having to live without her now is painful. The day I found out she was here as only an angel is when I really started to see the angel inside her. Every mother is partial to their baby but Keely was really special and presented many gifts to us and those around her. I want time to slow down so I dont feel so far away from June 30th. I want time to slow down as badly as I want it to jump ahead. It was a tug of war while she was here just praying at her bedside to keep her here and its a tug of war now wanting time to slow down to stay close and bump ahead so the pain will stop. Its a constant fight like trying to get my heart to tell my head that Keely is gone and why she had to leave. I can still see her smile, I can still see her face and those big beautiful eyes, they way she smells and our big huge hugs. Trying to feel these feelings and sitting closing my eyes remembering gives me pain and makes my heart ache. I wish she was here to turn 23 months and still cannot understand why shes not. I should be seeing her walk, trying to run and trying to put two words together. Instead im looking at pictures, rubbing on her baby lotion and crying while I hug her little clothes while trying to still find her smell. Happy 23 months my baby girl!
Hold and hug your babies tight mommies because there are never enough hugs and kisses to be given.

LOVE AND MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH MY LITTLE BUN BUN! Hugs and Kisses up to heaven. Love Mommy xoxoxo