My Mom Lies

I found this poem that is narrated by a mothers child who has died. I couldn't find it more true. Every single day someone always asks me "how are you?" and for that split second I am always left wondering are they even going to hear my reply, do they really care? Or do they just expect me to tell them what they want to hear? And like this poem i either say " I'm fine" or " I'm okay". Then afterward I always feel like I am being dishonest to myself for not telling people " you know what....I'm horrible, broken, sad, lonely and I am angry with life" we've been dealt a crappy hand and how am I supposed to be? Most of the time if I express how I feel most become uncomfortable but I am being fair to myself and those are the times I feel composed because I am expressing my "normal" with howi really feel, when all the other times I get by with saying "I'm fine" and all that is doing is helping those people who are asking me feel normal. Am I angry at people and at the world? No; but it sure is hard to fit in when people don't want to wear your shoes in your uncomfortable, unimaginable world. I wish the word "fine" could be redefined to mean sad, lonely, broken, but At this moment I am putting one foot in front of the other so "I'm fine"

Our Favorite Lie - I'm FINE!

“My Mom Lies”

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies
She never did before.
From now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my Mom how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
Because she can't describe the pain.

Ask my Mom how she is,


She'll say, "I'm alright".
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?

Ask my Mom how she is,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see
nor the strength to yell.

Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I’m well, I'm coping".
For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth
just say your heart is broken.

She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am Here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, “You’re lucky to get in here, Mom
With all the lies you told!"

-author unknown 

"it isn't for the moment that you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill battle to faith, sanity & security"